With time I have come to distinguish a certain timber in the voice of potential clients that need much more than that. They may ask me the same basic questions but I can feel in my gut that it goes much deeper, to a very elemental basic needs level.
It has not failed once. Whenever I feel that the person in the other line needs more than the how much or how long answers, I ask them "do you still live under the same roof". The answer is always "yes". When I ask if they work or are earning any income the answer is always "no".
This is when I take off my "I am here earning a living" hat and place my "I've been there" cap and get to share a few things I have learned along the way:
1 - Take care of yourself - If you are depressed, this is no time to make major decisions such as filing for divorce. Go back to church, call a friend, go for a walk, eat healthier, read a great book, listen to happy music. Write in a journal imagining how your new life will be, this tool is much more powerful than you think!
2 - Finances - Once you feel better it's time to get an action plan in place. What kind of work do you want to do? Do you want to have a business? What skills do you have? Do you want to go back to school? The sky is the limit!
3 - Move out - You don't need to get a divorce first before moving out. Start saving money and research where you want to live, cost of living, transportation, etc.
4 - Stop Fighting - Arguing will not help. Learn to walk away with your dignity intact. The old saying is very true: "this too shall pass". If there are children involved DO NOT TALK bad about their father/mother in front of them. They suffer more than we do and adding our grievances to them is simply not fair.
Once you are ready, if the tempers are still red hot don't try to file a divorce in agreement. It will be a waste of time. Have the other party served his or hers divorce papers and have the judge deal with him or her. Letting the court system do their job is the best thing you can do for your sanity.
For more information on our divorce services contact our office at 1-888-771-3330.
Posted by Yamil Fuentes, LDP