As I was getting ready this morning she knocks on my door and tells me with tears in her eyes that her husband wants to report her to the police. I smile and say "come in", as I can tell this is going to be interesting. Ana* proceeds to tell me that her husband wants to take her to the police station to accuse her of cheating. Not that it matters, but apparently a few years ago she sold a car to a man and there were texts regarding the sale but her husband is accusing her of cheating with him. Before I set the record straight I tell her that she needs to ground herself and stop listening to gibberish from her mad as hell husband. Then of course I tell her that cheating is not illegal in this country and that the police will tell him so. This is just a version of verbal abuse. He is trying to get to her by making her fearful since she is going to file for divorce and his pride is hurt.
Then she told me that she had called the police once when he hit her and that they did not do anything. Now, I know that sometimes things fall through the cracks in the legal system when it comes to domestic violence (sometimes with tragic results) however this story did not sound right. So I ask her did you go and place a restraining order? She said no. When did you go back with him? She said he returned to the house 2 weeks later. So I told her that common sense tells me that 1st she did not follow through with what she had to do, and 2nd that the police most likely knew that she would go back with him...she lowered her eyes and she admitted that I was probably right.
We have to live with our decisions everyday however it's not fair to blame a system for our lack of action. When we are done with an abusive husband, we HAVE to take action. If we don't then we have no one else to blame but our self.